Farewelling Rotuma

Its been a VERY long time....

WAY too long a disappearance  to qualify as a “Professional Blogger”, so apologies to my keen readers for my absence...

I guess its partly because nothing SUPER exciting has been happening (well, actually there is one thing...), or maybe I’ve become a bit of a Rotuman hermit in my way of life- just living the days away, doing what needs to be done, feeling a bit lazy to do beyond them, and perhaps I didn't want to bore you with the mundane-ity of life here.

But here I am, feeling the need to somehow summarize the past 10 months as we are leaving in under a weeks and heading back to the land of Oz. The kids and I will be leaving first, and Carl will follow 2 weeks later, in the hope that he manages to finish the house.

The house is looking amazing! Still quite a bit of work to be done, and even if we do manage to finish the basics so it is liveable, it will be years of ongoing work to finish and maintain it, landscape and beautify it. Luckily we have a lifetime ahead of us, and the occasional desperate needs to escape western civilization to an isolated island for some R&R...

At the moment, it seems like the “Gods of house completion” aren’t really on our side, as we have loads of hardware  coming on the next boat, which will only arrive (hopefully) in the second week of May. Nobody knows for sure when it will come. Very Rotuman.  We are also experiencing severe power cuts during the day due to lack of fuel for the islands electricity generators, which doesn’t allow Carl and crew to use the power tools they need for their work, and we don’t have any fuel left for our small generator, so that slows things down a lot, but hey- nothing unusual... the power cuts are only going to get worst in the next few days when they will need to use the islands generators fuel to power the islands water pumps... I guess having water is more important than having electricity...

 

The kids are super excited to go back home, as am I, mainly to reconnect with family and friends, and to eat crispy fresh apples, broccoli and divine cheeses (call me weird...).

The kids are mainly excited to see their uncle Terry (who has been promising them weekend festivals of waffles and ice cream and lollies and toys and everything their hearts desire- the poor deprived kids...), their little cousins, their scooters and Pizza (with bacon, Prosciutto, olives- lots of, to be precise)!

Noah is returning with his 2 front teeth missing (and yes- the tooth fairy DOES fly all the way to Rotuma, in case you were wondering!), and Saulei with a broken Collar bone from a fall(well, we’re assuming its broken- the hospital was short on X-ray fluid so on the one they managed to take we could JUST barely see a break in his little Clavicle) so he just has to wear a sling for the next 4 weeks.

Our last couple of weeks here have been a challenge in terms of food supplies, the shops are empty, we’re out of the basics (flour, sugar, rice, oil, eggs etc) and the next boat is still 3 weeks away, so its all about improvising on what I can feed my family for the next 2 weeks... Fish, wild chickens, Cassava, Dalo, Bele (local spinach leaves),Pawpaws and coconuts. And thats it! I'm sure this sounds exotic and healthy and wonderful from afar, but with fussy eaters for kids, and a foodie snob like moi- I AM BLOODY WELL OVER IT!!!!!!! My only consolation is that its only for 1 more week. And as soon as I touch down in Oz I will have all my heart desires and craves and more!!

Its quite challenging for a Jewish mother like myself to have to say no to my kids when they ask for something to eat, because that something was designated for a meal tomorrow or next week and that’s all we have... thankfully and gratefully I have never in my life been in a situation where I have to hold back on eating or feeding my kids, because there just isn’t anything to eat...  and its not like there ISN’T anything to eat here, its just that eating dry boring cassava when coming home from school all hungry tired and grumpy- isn’t the most desirable thing for a kid. Or myself.

Mind you, we still have loads of Chocolate, Nori paper for sushi, condiments, herbs and spices and lots of stuff that we received from my stunning family and friends or that we brought when we came over- but not much to cook with it all. The irony...

But hey- I'm sure I will be looking back on this all and laughing one day, especially when I see spoilt kids back home who complain they don’t have this or that, when actually they have no idea what it feels like “not to have”...

The past 10 months have been such a huge eye opener to me, and with all the challenges and difficulties I've had to face, putting all my winging and complaining aside, I feel extremely privileged to have experienced it all, and it has made me a much stronger and improved person.

So here is a list of the things I have learnt and feel grateful for, in ore of, and enriched due to:

·         THE BEAUTY OF PRAYER- I've never been a religious person, never really connected with praying or a God of any definition or name, but being here and seeing how these simple and content people find so much joy and peace in their connection to the lord (although at times, a lot of times, it is way over the top to me!).  The gesture of showing and feeling gratitude for what we have, the things that I always took for granted and didn’t know to appreciate so much until I've seen or experienced a lack of it, has been very humbling for me. A simple pause before digging into a plate of food- to acknowledge the fact that we actually HAVE a plate of food, to acknowledge the forces of nature who helped supply the food, the hands that worked hard to gather and prepare it. A simple pause and a little prayer in my heart or out loud is one thing I will take home with me.

·         THE GENEROSITY OF FAMILY- Carls Uncle Varo and Aunt Aggie have accommodated us in their home for the whole time we have been here. They have so peacefully accepted us into their lives as their own family and helped us so much in making this project happen. From months and months of Physically draining work Varo has done with Carl, to months of living with my crazy feral children and my moods and fussiness on Aggies behalf... I don’t know any other person or culture that is capable of doing this.

Us “westerners” are so precious about what is “ours”- our time, our space, our things... we say we would like to live in “community” but are we really capable? Are we really able to hold back on OUR personal needs and opinions in order to keep the peace and harmony  in our community? Think about it...

To be completely honest with myself, I don’t think I would ever be able to do what Varo and Aggie have done for us, and I feel so much gratitude to them for all that they are.

·         FRIENDS- Although I have had moments here of such dark loneliness- being the social person I am who thrives on my relationships with people, those moments have been lit up by a few individuals who have been different to the rest- in that they aren’t afraid of the “Henfisi” (white woman), and have been dear dear friends to me. Namely- Fotfiri- the mother of Noah and Saulei’s little girlfriends, who is the most beautiful, simple and humble woman, and has taught me so much about Rotuman culture and life, who has taken me into the sea to gather “Lumi” (seaweeds) to eat, and shown me many more treasures of the reefs, and who has just been there to hang out, when I needed to have another woman around me in this very male dominated environment.

And my wonderful friend Sineva, who came to Rotuma with her family for a few months over Xmas time, and was the only woman I have met here who actually “Got me”- who understood the feeling of alienation- being Samoan and not Rotuman, who actually TALKS about feelings! Who has been to and knows where I come from, who is the most amazing mother of 8 gorgeous and successful kids, who has taught me so much about serenity, surrender and acceptance, and who will forever be in my heart!

·         SURRENDER AND ACCEPTANCE/LETTING GO AND FORGIVING- I have learnt that when living on such a small island, or in a small community, one really needs to know how to let go of their ego in order to contribute to the peace of the collective. One needs to surrender formal beliefs, desires and ways in order to “fit in”, to be a part of, and to contribute to the community. Especially in a foreign culture- where life is so different to what we are accustomed to, one needs to simply accept their ways, and accept that one cant always challenge or change those ways, even when ones intentions are pure and for the “betterment” of society,  as these attempts could be more frustrating than fruitful.

There will always be people who will do you wrong, upset you, betray your trust and take advantage of you, but in a small community- if you start “collecting” those people in your bad books and keep them there, you might end up very lonely and isolated. Letting go and forgiving is far better an option, as hard as it might be.

·         PATIENCE- one of the BIGGIES I've had to learn, after months and weeks of utter frustration, aggravation and irritation... “Island Time” is REAL, it is a concept of time so foreign to us in our busy, functional, efficient western society. What takes a customer service person 5 minutes to change flight dates over the phone in Oz, will take about an hour, over several conversations to do the same thing here. When someone says they’ll come over at 3pm, the number usually indicates how many hours late they will be, if they bother to turn up at all (obviously not letting us know if they don’t!). If I'm told that something will be ready next week- it usually means that next week they might let us know if they can do it at all... and I can go on.

These things happen so often, that at some point I realized that instead of getting SO pissed off about these things, getting worked up and angry at people, I’m better off preparing myself in advanced that things wont go as planned, and to prepare a plan B, or C, D, E, F and G!

 

·         LONELINESS AND ISOLATION- without going into too much detail and dragging you into my internal turmoils, being an island on an island is one of the hardest things I've had to confront here. But within this experience, with no other choice- I've had to dig super deep to find all the golden inner resources to help myself, in the absence of frequent direct contact with my beloved family and friends from whom I have always gained so much support. I am grateful and fortunate to have never had to feel loneliness like this in the past, and I am grateful and fortunate to have had the opportunity to learn and find my inner strength to help me become a solid, (semi)sane island on an island...

·         CARLS WILL DETERMINATION AND ENDURANCE- I've been married to Carl for just over 10 years now, so I think I kinda know him and get what he’s about. I've always known he is a very hard worker, with an exceptionally strong work ethic and a very particular perfectionist attitude in doing everything he does. But during this whole project he has totally BLOWN ME AWAY and I doubt I could find words to describe his will, internal and external stamina, and perseverance with the work he has achieved here. I have never known or heard of another human being who has been challenged so hard in so many ways, yet still taking it all is his stride and finding a solution or a way to achieve his goal. The physical and mental strength he has revealed to me and everyone around us is beyond human!!!! I don’t think anyone, besides those who have been working with him, or those of you who have been here during this process-could ever grasp the magnitude of this project, the continuous challenges he has had to overcome, the excruciating work conditions, the mind boggling mental work, and I can go on and on... my admiration and respect for Carl has peaked, and I am so damn proud of him!

·         KIDS FREEDOM- a massive treasure of their childhood which I doubt they would have experienced anywhere else. The freedom at their ages (6 & 4) to run around outside all day and play on their own, or to run up or down the road to their friends and disappear for the whole day without me having to worry about them, as I know they will always be looked after, fed and cared for by someone in the village. Of course them being the only “Fafisi” (white) kids on the island makes it a bit of a novelty for the locals, but it is very humbling to know my kids are gaining their independence and trust for the world in such a relaxed and carefree environment.  I am kinda dreading going back to Sydney and having to watch them all the time- watch they stay off the road, make sure they don’t “disturb anyone’s peace” with their boisterous boyzie ways, keep them quiet so to not disturb the neighbours, etc etc...

·         SIMPLICITY OF BEING- it has taken a very long time for me to feel content with not “doing”. Even though being an (un)glorified housewife is not my ideal life goal, being it here has awarded me a very unique serenity, which again, I doubt I could have achieved at home. With no where to go, no external stimulation, no transport to take me around the island, nothing interesting happening anywhere... I've learnt to appreciate just being. Being at home, getting my daily routines done, resting when I need to and not pushing myself to achieve another task, playing with the kids, s-i-m-p-l-i-c-i-t-y. You should try it sometime...

·         SHARING SURPLUSES- In a place where at times there is such abundance of foods, it is great to be able to share and be shared with when possible, allowing everyone to enjoy the treasures and treats of this place. Huge bunches of bananas that ripen all at once, Soursops falling off the trees, so many Pawpaws ripening on the trees that the birds get to eat more than us, too many fish hunted on a good day by Carl, and so on- things are always shared around, given away, and what goes around always comes around.... Baskets of pineapples and watermelons, boxes of avocados, bags of oranges and limes... if we don’t grow something ourselves, someone else does and will always bring some around for us. I LOVE that!

·         FRIENDS AND FAM SENDING STUFF- how unlucky I am to be such a foodie- deprived of all things treat and gourmet on a faraway island. But how totally LUCKY I am to have such amazing family and friends who make the effort to send me amazing parcels of all things divine to satisfy my craving belly!!! YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE – and I am so grateful for the little things that have made my stay here sweeter and have brought me closer to home and to those who care so much. Thank you Thank you Thank you!!!

·         APPRECIATE WHAT I HAVE LIVED AND HAD BEFORE HERE- many-a-conversations have been spoken about my life before here, the privileges of growing up with a loving supportive family, never lacking anything, being exposed to the world and all its wonders, travelling all over the globe, given the opportunity of an education, freedom, choices and so on. We so often take these things for granted when not having experienced life in any other way. Being here has given me a deeper insight and understanding of my fortune, when comparing it to those who have no idea of a life beyond the shores of this island.

·         APPRECIATE WHAT WE HAVE HERE FROM NOW ON- in the rare moments when I manage to slap myself and get over the challenges of here, I take a step back and look at what we have and what our future holds for us: a beautiful handmade home, overlooking the grand pacific ocean, on a tiny isolated island, with so much space, freedom, peace, unlimited coconuts, growing or hunting for our own food, no stress, shall I go on??? WHO WOULDNT WANT THAT???? Being able to one day share all this with our family and friends, and giving this gift to our kids, their kids and grandkids- is all worth the hard work and effort we have put into this project! YES!!!!

·         GRATITUDE FOR THE EXPERIENCE- it has been a tough, gruelling at times, physically, mentally and emotionally challenging journey for us all and few know the details of it all, but I must say that I feel so much gratitude (am I over-using that word???) for this experience, as it has made me a stronger, better, human being, and has taught me methods of coping better in this world by putting a different perspective on all I have known and believed in.

I have graduated from being a “Jewish Princess” to an “Island Queen” (as my dear mum has

said), and I feel PROUD!

And so, if all goes to plan (which usually never happens here...), we shall be returning to Sydney on May 4^th, with an extra member of our family growing rapidly in my womb (for those of you who don’t know.... AAAAAAHHHH!!!!), to restart our lives back in civilization enriched with all that we have experienced here, and with a home away from home to escape to whenever we can or need to...

 

And just a little funny story to add re having a baby...

It is a very common tradition in Rotuman culture for babies to have a namesake. The namesake could be a close relative, a friend or a distant acquaintance who asks to or offers to be the namesake. Personally (call me weird...) I prefer to name my own kids. I agreed to Carls cousin giving Noah a second name , and Saulei’s name was suggested by Carls other cousins which I agreed to because I loved the name. But I wouldn’t give that privilege to name my kid to anyone, unless I really liked the name.

Being pregnant here, having the locals see and comment on my belly growth, has sparked quite a few requests for being the baby’s namesake. From close relatives, to friends to random people who have just come up to me asking to name my kid.... I found it quite funny actually, and would have to politely thank them and explain that it is not an acceptable practice in my culture....

 

So.....

Back to civilization, to choices, to family and friends, to yummy food, rich culture, horrific traffic, cost of living and stress, running around like a headless chook (and now I REALLY know what that looks like!!!), dealing with consumerism, fashion and trends, cool weather (YES!!!) a soft comfy bed, SKYPEing my family, Sydney beaches, CAFE’S (or DECAFE’S for me now...) new music, movies, theatre..... BRING IT ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So thats it - this might be my last blog novel (sorry if I bored you...), thanks for all the fantastic feedback I've received over the years, I have loved writing this and discovered a hidden talent that only through your feedback I've learnt to recognize. So THANK YOU!

For those of you in Sydney- I cant wait to SQUEEEEEEZ you really soon, and those of you further away- I hope I will SQUEEEZ you really soon!!!

 

PEACE, LOVE, and COCONUTS from the Isle of Rotuma...

 

P.S  A few pics to show you the progress of the house and more will follow in the next few days xxx